my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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