Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
