did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
