Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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