we have pet lesbian snakes
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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