I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
