ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
