just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
