Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
