I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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