Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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