This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
my poor anus
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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