Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
