last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
