I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
