"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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