Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.