Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
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I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
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Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.