when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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