Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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