ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
