i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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