Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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