The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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