Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
