Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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