Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
