After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.