sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
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i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.