Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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