The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
