i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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