I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
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I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
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I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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