Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
