we're blogging at a bar
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
