My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
