She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just want nice things and good sex
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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