Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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