If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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