you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
