I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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