I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
