oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
