im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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