I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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