We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
