That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
