I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
