If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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