6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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