I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
