Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
