now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize