Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
