ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He better not be in your backpack
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
