I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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