I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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