dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
