I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
