Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
