Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
