So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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