belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
