My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
